Let Plan Our Funeral....

Covid -19 had really change our life as a whole, i never had guess that in the modern world and with all the advance technology that we have, this particular virus had really cause the world to stop and think. 

During the lock down something that i had the abundant of time to do was to think about death. I am in my late 30, i am obese as you can see my picture and i do have some medical condition. I am a Type-2 Diabetic on medication, i have borderline HBP and occasional if i control my food intake Gout. Some people call this the trio of sickness. hehehe...

So with all that if i should have contracted the virus (knock on wood!!) by theory i would not have a chance of surviving it because i have a pre-medical condition that does not help in the particular virus attack hence the bleak outcome if well i would be dead.

So since i was far away from family when the lock-down happen, i was thinking if i am to died i would not like to trouble my family with the transport and stuff. I have some relative that had died here and the family would bring them back to my hometown and the cost of that logistic is astronomical. I don't want to burden them if that ever happen to me. 

So lets plan our funeral.. 1st step we plan what to wear in the coffin, i would like to wear a hermit habit if that was possible, but you have to be profess to do that so i just want a simple plaid shirt and jeans, i would think that to sleep in jeans is comfortable, so my last journey why not plaid and jeans on my second journey. right? 2nd i would make a video of my last day, to thank everyone whom had remember me and came to my memorial, ask for forgiveness  and final goodbyes to everyone, and hope my family would play it during my memorial. Made a 40 days and 100 days video too and 1 year memorial video too.. had it all..

3rd, as a catholic it was never really a norm in my community to cremate their love one remain, it is seen as a practice from a pagan culture. But the Vatican has come up with a document to allow cremation, so i would be cremate and only my ashes would be brought back to my home town. The video will help for the memorial and cremate is better if it was the virus so it brunt with me and does not effect anyone else.. I ask my family to make me a small columbarium at our family plot so i would always be near my love one. i would not ask for flower instead ask my family to do some charity in my memory. See simple and meaningful. So if i should pass away during this pandemic this is what i ask my family to do so it would not burden any of them.   

We end our lock-down and i got transfer back nearer to my home town, i am grateful for the opportunity and as we say before change is the only constant. so let learn something and adapt to our new environment. 

During lock-down with the abundant time i had i was pouring myself into the movies at Netflix and you-tube content and i find out something i really want to so soon, i would like to go camping with my love ones, nothing fancy like glamping or anything just maybe near a river or stream with tree and blue morning sky and stary nite sky. that would be lovely, we are around the camp fire and telling everyone what up with everyone life. yeah that would be very fun indeed.

So yeah, if we really think in a calm situation we can really accept what ever that would come in our life journey hehehe

that all for now

The wanna hermit Ben 

Formation is over i guess what next?

I haven't been posting a lot in this blog, it was supposed to be a journey blog about the my learning process in the Dip. Theology. but life get to me that i was not able to do much blog since then. Do i have a writers blog, yes i might have but i do have things to say that i was not able to do at all because i was just to busy with my job. Ironically the the whole reason that i was such in a turmoil since last year until now.

Ironically my study in theology is the only things that keep me going in the path i need to go, It show me that life is not always a straight line as what we always thought it will be.

When we seen someone trying to go for formation into the religious life and half away they take a break in order reexamine themselves and normally half of them would never return to the formation. When then to think that they we not trying, they gave up and they were not follow the way correctly to complete the formation.

I beg to differ on that thought. I have a few time in this particular program thought i need to quit, there are more people who deserve to the recognition, i don't think the big guy up there want me in this program because we cant attend the auxiliary program that was plan by the institute or meet the deadline of the module. We are not on a formation for a religious life and we have such thought, what about them? hence i know the challenges that comes with the journey of faith so much,

Sooooo.... the journey has ended a bit sad that know i don't have anything to do until the graduation day... would i join a hermitage? since i just discover one that was created in 2015, but our bishop has to agree to it in some way before we even try to attempt to join it.. but hey it something to study and maybe one day i will be in another journey to be a hermit maybe? hopefully the big guy would approve huhuhu....

Be bless everyone...

Chubby friar return to blog writing   

A long year wait~~

2018… there only one entry this year… what happen?

It’s a year of silence I guess a year to really think about how life are supposed to be

A year to open our eyes, on what people really actually think about you as a person

It was the worst year in my life I think, it is not because there was no happy moment this year.

It was that I did not listen to the warning that the great guy up there sent me.

Yup he took the time to send me sign that I might had not make me so miserable the whole year

However, what did I do? I ignore it putting my faith to the people at hand

Trusting that we can ensure that everything will goes smoothly and fine

Even with all the sign, we saw but did not do anything to understand it.

So the year was so bad not because something very bad happen although it did but it was not 

something like a natural disaster or something.

It was bad because it was the year that I realize how fake a lot of the people around me is.

People I thought was a friend and turn out to be the very person that stab a knife on my back

The very people that confer to us their problem so we trust them at a deeper level and then create stories about us to others

But since I am out of time for today let me continue another time the stories of 2018 told in 2019

A year… whut in the world just happen??...

Well did I drop out of the pursuit on theology?

Where did I go?

Well to be honest I was doing just fine until I enrol in a master program, in pursuit of a higher qualification, it was something I wanted to do but well at a cost. Not only monetarily but also in form of time.

I found myself busy in the morning with work related stuff and after work is studies, whut about the theology studies? Well it has taken a slower pace, but was able to complete all phase one compulsory modules before the first term exam. i was really glad I was able to do that.

I miss a few contact class not the compulsory one but the complimentary by priest here. Really wanted to attend them but I clashes with the master class.

So we are in term two and the second year for my master program.  I found something which I thought I knew a long time ago, but through time tend to forget about it. When we learn something let try to envision it happening in our actual life so that we remember and understand it a little bit more. So that what I did, placing myself in the subject both theology and masters hahahhaa… and well I made is here so far…

There is another phase in the theology studies which will last until 2019, slowly but steady… and 2 more semesters for the master studies. In which hopefully will complete this year if my thesis is approve.

Oh yeah something happen last year which like huge too.. but gonna tell that story on the next entry…wuuu~~~

blessed be~~

And when the saints.~~ And when the saints come marching in…

It is November 1^st, All Saints Day, a day to remember the saints and the dearly departed but that all soul day rite? I guess it is the same? Have you ever heard of a living saint? That is why, in my point of view why when we talk about all saints and all soul we tend to come to the same conclusions.

What had happen for the past 3 months? The whole reason why I created this blog was so that I keep typing my thought in my journey to my studies about my faith. So what with the long silence?  Well hurmm… life of the secular world seem to be pulling me out of my comfort zone. To much work to manage that I actually lost track of time on some days, there were time where I would stay back up to 11pm just realizing the time and went home with enough energy to take a bath and then back to bed. And yes my dear, that my routine for the next few month since august.

I was late to submit my theology assignments for the last two modules and actually got back to finishing it when by chance I got the call by my dear Brother Egbertus  from the La Sallian Brothers.  He ask if I would like to join a short programs organize by them in La Salle Petaling Jaya. Spending  time with the brothers seem so fun, they share experiences and much more, honestly I would even say that I have one feet into joining the brothers. But again the mistake of the secular world in which later would cause more anguish rather calmness would have a firmed grip in my other leg to cross trough..

I hope I haven’t  lost touch about what I am really after…discovering me in a multi hectic secular world…

Have a blessed All Saints Day…

Blessed Be~~!!

Ben  

Compassion….does it is still exists?

I am not writing an essay on the subject hence I would not be quoting any research of saying from some famous person or philosopher about the topic, this is my view in my observation on the subject.

This come to me after seen all the posting I saw on social media about so much harm done to others that it seem that compassions slowly slipping away from our society. I find this disturbing and well appalling. The most recent issue about a religious order conduction ethnic cleansing in that particular nation, as I remember learning about that particular religion, is that it's the most peaceful base religion and I have never heard that in their holy books it mention it's allowed for them to do such hatred base crime or anything bad in the general norm, but since I am not a scholar in that particular religion I cannot say more about that. 

So I went on a research journey on this particular issue, researching wheatear or not it really happen or just a propaganda that these irresponsible keyboards warriors use to start hatred base chaos in our country , Language barrier and the lack of international coverage on the issue seem to halt my research. I can’t seem to find anything that supported the issue really happen or that it did not happen, the most Info I can find is word of mouth by those who supposed to be from that particular country but both sides seems to have different stories. on one side, they say that it did happen and that the religion warrant them to do so, on the other side they say their religion would never allow that to happen since bad karma is something they must avoid. The absent of factual article or report from  official or dependable sources really left me undecided to believe that a community would have totally lost their compassion towards others human being that murder is an acceptable norm. I refuse to believe that but then again murder and these gruesome pictures on social media must have come from somewhere, so that mean that is some part of the world where the particular pic was taken compassion has lost it place.Then again here in our country, the weird part is compassion is selective.  

Why do I say that? Well some group of people would be very compassionate towards cats but not towards other animals, some people mock vegetarianism but then are against cruelty towards animal butchered for human consumption. See selective, which is more toward being a hypocrite but people always find a justification for it so like they are saying they are better than thou which is a branch of “holier than thou” mentality.

I wonder if I would ever found pure companions, the one that not just for show but real compassion. Last week is when I finally saw it, a friend found a puppy, abandoned by its owner, He bought a mud soap to wash after handling the puppy because his religion forbidden them to touch the puppy. He bought puppy milk and tends to the wound  until the puppy are healthy and then he sent to get it vaccinate before sending it to the animal shelter for the dog to be adopted. I ask his, you spend so much money on an animal that you can’t even keep as a pet why? His answer was simple “I don’t know, I guess god want me to do so since I feel the need to help it” Finally a real genuine companions one that was not selective or for a show.

The big guy up there probably wanted me to see that companions still exists although in small patches and in the most basic form.

That all from me, need to focus on the theology assignment now.. Wish the best for me ya…

Blessed Be~~

It begins...

Well !!.. it actually started a while ago, but July is the official month where the studies begin and well I can finally say that I am a student again. Fun fact though this time I am a student of theology, to be honest, I haven’t started reading anything yet. All I did since the registration day a few weeks back was buy books, buy a notebook, new stationary * I like buying pen and pencil and colorized one too.. Set up this blog, set up a new folder for anything I receive for the course.

People ask me, why would you want to take up this study, “you already had you degree, the wise next step would be a master rite?” yeah that would be a great choice but my journey during earning my degree was fill with blessing that I got from the big guy up there, and well at the end of that particular studies, I found the course that is well really in my ability to complete. Being single seem to other people that we have so much time and less responsibility, but like everyone else I am a working individual, I have bills to pay and family that depends on me. I am not wealthy enough to run and take refuge in a monastery and learn about faith there. Because we still have earthly responsibility…hehehehe…

Well! I hope I could complete these studies and increases my formation toward the understanding of my Catholics faith…

Blessed Be…